Monthly Archives: March 2014

A Tale To Be Told…The Whole Story

What’s the story you want to tell?

It happens to everyone. We all go through something tough, something challenging, something that takes us by surprise or something heartbreaking and we have a decision to make. Usually these are decisions we were never planning to have to make in the first place. When it’s all said and done, years later, what’s the story you want to tell?

There's a tale to be told...

No matter what difficult situation you’re in right now or what tough moments you’re currently going through, breathe. Later on it’s going to be a story to tell. This incredibly difficult thing and these tough decisions are just another part of your tale and in time, the thing that you are going through right now is just another chapter and another addition to your story. It will be a part of your overall story that you’ll be able to look back and say, “I remember when….” The good thing is, we all have a choice in what that story looks like. Not in what happened or the circumstances given–that part we have no control over–but in how we handle it and what we do.

I know a friend whose wife left him and his three small kids for their realtor after they just relocated to a new state. How he handled that situation, how he treated her, how he acted during and after the divorce is part of the story that he has to tell his kids…and tell his future wife later on. I know multiple friends who lost their houses during the housing bust. Financially devastated. What they did, the choices they made, and how they handled those losses and how they picked up the pieces and moved forward is now a part of their story. What happens when a family member suddenly passes away, or when a natural disaster takes out everything you’ve ever loved or known? Job losses and how unemployment, job hunting, and maintaining communication and relationships with family during that time frame is part of the story.

Tragedy happens. Difficulties happen. Unfair things happen. That part is out of our control. But what is in our control is our reactions and how we handle those moments. It’s not just about the “getting through” and the “going through” process, but about what we want our story to look like years down the road as we tell it in the other chapters of our lives to the other people in our lives. The struggle is part of the story.

When I flunked out of college I…  When I lost my job I…  When I got cancer I… When my kid went south and became pregnant I… When he got deployed I… When he passed away I… Or when she left me I…    These are the things that combine into the overall story of our lives. These defining moments and surprise decisions are what create our individual and personal story. There’s always a story to tell.

http://blog.whitneyenglish.com/the-struggle-is-part-of-the-story/

Even every day living is part of our tale. When we’re single, how we act and what we do becomes our backstory for when we meet that significant someone. What’s really fun to hear are how two single people’s stories collide and become one tale. At weddings and engagements we always want to know how two people met. We want to know the love story. Oh, how the choices we make determine the type of tale we can tell! When we don’t even know it, we are writing our own story.  (And maybe even the story of someone else!)

The question is–are we doing things that we want to be a part of our story and tell about? Are we creating the type of story that we even want to tell at all? Or are we brave enough to ask ourselves if we’re making choices that later on we won’t want to talk about? Hide that part of the story. In light of our past experiences, our present circumstances and our future hopes and dreams, are we making the choices and decisions that are creating a story we want to tell? There’s always that one moment, that one decision, that one chance that can take the story in a completely different direction. The funny thing, sometimes we know when those moments are and sometimes we don’t.

Who knows? Right now, there may be a decision that needs to be made or a choice that can take you in one direction or another. The question is not necessarily what should you do, the question may be what story is it that you want to tell?

Whatever it is, make it a story you want to tell. Go ahead, make it a good one!

QUOTABLE QUOTES FROM PEOPLE MUCH SMARTER THAN I:

  • The struggle is part of the story.” – Whitney English
  • If you don’t want anyone to find out, don’t do it.” – Chinese Proverb
  • Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.” – Bill Cosby
  • May your choices reflect your hopes not your fears.” – Nelson Mandela
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The Going Through Process

Life is a process. Boom–that was deep. After going to a recent author’s conference and soaking in tips from the experts like a sponge, I have been thinking a lot about the processes of writing and publishing. Then that got me thinking about processes in general.

The Going Through Process
The Going Through Process

In an age where practically everything is instant and on demand–90 second microwave dinners, instant upload and streaming, instant messaging, even instant degrees–we rarely have to wait for anything anymore. This has lead to the misconception that waiting, for anything, is bad. Waiting is not bad. It may be uncomfortable at times, but it is in the process of waiting that character  or something equally amazing is developed. It’s in the “going through” that we become stronger, wiser, better, and more prepared. Learning to wait well is priceless.

Just like how pregnancy is  a process–a 9 month waiting process where a lot is going on and good things are happening–there’s a waiting period that is needed in order for things to develop and go well. It does not turn out well if that waiting period is fast forwarded, shortened or skipped in any way. But the end product is totally worth it. That’s what I’ve told myself…I’m birthing a book.

In developing the game plan for the book and walking out the steps to go from a document on my computer to a quality book in print I have discovered several things. There’s a reason for the process. True, there are websites out there where in just a couple clicks one can upload a file and have it in print the next week. The trouble with that is that it looks like it. There is a quality that is only developed when the time is taken to go through the actual process of anything that is worth having or doing.

I can choose to skip the process, but then I’d end up with a watered down crap book. That’s not the story I want to tell. I can also choose to do nothing. (I actually did that for awhile. It wasn’t until this last year that I decided that that wasn’t an option and made the effort to dust off the dream.) Funny how we try to do everything other than the actual work. We want to press fast forward or skip button or bail out altogether in order to avoid the actual process of going through.

This book deserves my patience. It is worth the process. It is worth the research, the meetings, the waiting, the edits, the cost, and the time. It is worth the effort. It deserves far more than vanity press or print-on-demand and the crapola quality that goes with it. As much as I would like to fast forward to summer and physically hold it in my hot little hands, I am going to do this right and I am going to wait.

Now whether or not I wait well is the question. *laughing*

QUOTABLE QUOTES FROM PEOPLE MUCH SMARTER THAN I:

Incident Warning! Uh oh, it happened again.

I had another incident. I hate it when this happens. It had been awhile since the last occurrence so when I found myself living it yet again it had caught me off guard and I had forgotten how big of a problem I have.

Incident Warning
Incident Warning

I am directionally challenged. To the point where it’s beyond funny and just plain annoying. I can get lost in a hallway if given the chance. Although in this most recent case I found myself driving the completely wrong direction on I-25 (a highway in Denver I should be very familiar with by now) and didn’t realize it for about three exits as I was driving past the new giant Cabellas and apparently heading towards Colorado Springs. Great. Then I had to figure out how to redirect myself to where I really wanted to go. *sigh* I have issues.

I am very grateful to have friends and loved ones who thankfully don’t share this problem and keep me out of trouble most of the time, but when I’m by myself, look out! (Thankfully God tends to pair the lost with the un-lost! It’s a beautiful thing.) I feel reasonably intelligent in so many other areas but for some reason am missing the gene for this and am quite flawed in this department. Not one of my redeeming qualities!

The thing with being lost is that when you’re lost you don’t really know you’re lost until much, much later. One never really knows they’re lost at the moment they become lost, it takes time to figure out and usually by that point one has been lost for quite awhile. And because one has been lost for awhile it’s usually not that easy to just back up and get “un-lost” quickly.

I guess that’s why I like the idea of the 30×30 list so much, or the “bucket list/life list” concept. It’s an overall game plan or road map that keeps you on track to where you really want to go. Once the list is created and actually in writing (yes, put pen to paper and make it official), it’s a whole lot easier to recognize an opportunity in disguise when it comes up and then make the necessary choices to go down the path to crossing it off. It’s like pulling out the map to make sure you’re headed in the right direction. There may be different roads or options with varying factors, but the overall destination is the same.

My 30×30 list was like a map that kept me going in the direction I ultimately wanted to go, and for that I am so grateful. Surprisingly, I didn’t always recognize an opportunity to cross an item on the list because it didn’t look like what I had originally planned. Opportunities so often come disguised as something we never even considered an option. So often a random opportunity would come up that would need an intentional “turn” at that particular moment or I’d miss it altogether. Multiple times I remember thinking, “Is this it, is this my chance? Do I do it now or do I wait for a  ‘better’ time?”

It’s like coming to a fork in the road–you can continue in the direction you were headed or you can make an intentional choice to go down a different path. Route changers. The destination may remain the same, but the route or the way you take to get there is adjusted. Highway verses back roads. A route change is very different than a destination change. These “route change” opportunities could be sneaky and if I didn’t have a list then I wouldn’t know that now was the time to act. (I can think of 3-4 items on my 30×30 list that wouldn’t have happened at all if I hadn’t jumped on the random opportunity that arose to take a different path. Just because the current opportunity didn’t look like how I originally thought it did not mean that it wasn’t my opportunity to do it now.) There’s just something gratifying about crossing an item off a list. It’s like arriving at your intended destination on time and in one piece. The scenery along the way may not be what was initially expected or there may be a few more U-turns than one would like, but the arrival is oh-so-sweet. It feels good.

You’ll be glad to know that I did figure out how to turn around that day on the highway and I did make it to my intended destination (a dinner at a friend’s house. It was lovely.) At the time I was pulling a U-ie I had to roll my eyes at my own silly mistake and I swore I would tell no one. This little incident just reminded me how much I need GPS and navigational instructions to keep me on track.

Life is always better when you can recognize an opportunity in disguise and know you’re headed in the right direction.

QUOTABLE QUOTES FROM PEOPLE MUCH SMARTER THAN I:

30 Day Update On The 30×30 Publishing Project

30 Day Update: Life After Kickstarter

To all the backers of the 30x30 publishing project…THANK YOU!
To all the backers of the 30×30 publishing project…THANK YOU!

It’s been 30 days since I sat in the chair in my living room staring at the computer screen, pinching myself after hearing the news that the 30×30 publishing project on Kickstarter was fully funded. I could hardly breathe. I can still hardly breathe, but for different reasons.

Over 54 people joined forces in just 30 days to be a part of putting this dream in print. That’s a lot of thank you’s owed. Each one is an answer to prayer, and each one has a unique story as to why or how they got involved. For the moment, that’s for me to know and you to maybe someday find out. Right now my heart is still smiling and my head is overwhelmed with what is next. From my heart to yours, thank you.

So exactly what is next? Just to let you know, it takes roughly three weeks for all the Kickstarter funds to be processed and released–a lot of account verification and financial hoops to go through. To make sure everything’s legit, the funds are frozen and put on ice for a bit. Nothing too ridiculous, it just takes a little time, and for those of us (ahem) who are a little impatient to get started, it felt like three years.

Now that it’s official and the funding is in…it’s time to make a book.

It’s written–over 30,000 words to be exact–there are just a gazillion steps to actually getting it into a product and package that is worth putting in front of public eyes. This last week I met with the design team and we hashed out the preliminary plans including, artwork ideas, official book title, proposed timelines, estimated costs, and immediate next steps. The 30,000 word book monster is being sent to the editor next week and will be officially in que for the first round of slice-and-dice edits, and will then be sent back to me for approval of said slicing. It was fun and a bit overwhelming to talk possibilities on layout of what the pages and chapters will look like, artwork ideas, and what the book will actually look and feel like. If all goes well and according to plan (and everyone meets their proposed deadlines), it looks like this Life Before the Lottery dream will be in print this July! Part of me wants to snap my fingers and fast forward to the day when I see the dang thing in print while the other part of me is enjoying being jittery and the process of walking through the unknown. Weird, I know.

In the meantime, preliminary steps are being taken on the marketing side with things like domain name registrations for the website, launching the “official” Facebook page, and signing up for webinars and getting review lists organized. I’m learning about ISBN numbers, copyrights through the library of congress, and how to write official acknowledgments for the back of the book. All this is new to me and more than anything I pray that I can make these decisions wisely and efficiently. This book is not just about me. It never was…there’s a heavy responsibility to the 54 backers and many many others who supported this project before one ink splotch was ever made. It’s exciting, humbling, and sometimes downright terrifying. I love it!

So to all my backers, it’s really now a “hurry up and wait” process. I look forward to sharing more as we continue to reach new levels in this publishing project. Can you say summer book launch? *big grin*

P.S. The “Life Before the Lottery: 30×30 Project” Facebook page mentioned above can use all the help it can get during this building stage. Like it, share it, and even post your own two cents, pictures, or stories of your own bucket list accomplishments. If you’ve been a part of one of my 30×30 adventures, post it! I’m looking for shared pictures, adventures, and your own “I did it” stories. The more content on it the better. Currently it’s all sad and lonely, so the faster we get to 100 likes (or even 500) all the better…and the more legit we’ll look for the book launch! Thank you for being a part of this journey. Smooooooooch!

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