Becoming Living Proof –
It’s here. The moment you’ve been procrastinating, dreading, and avoiding is here.
You knew it was coming. You could see it in the distance. You did everything you possibly could to avoid it. But the disbelief that God would actually ask you to walk through it didn’t stop it from happening.
We all have experiences in life that we never thought would happen. Things we never thought we would be experiencing. Specifically alone. Maybe there was someone in the picture that was supposed to be there with you. Your stability, your anchor, your hope, your rock and maybe even your trusted partner in crime. That is who the moment or experience was supposed to be with. For whatever undefined reason, they’re not. Never in a million years did you ever picture walking through it without them, let alone by yourself. Alone.
But the person that should be sitting next to you isn’t. Or the person you want sitting next to you, isn’t. What do you do when you are asked to do something or go through something on your own that you never thought you would have to face or be doing alone? There is nothing more crushingly lonely than that. You would give anything, do anything, say anything to not…well, to not.
I had that moment. Actually, I’ve had a multitude of moments like that. These are the moments that I’ve had to take to my Maker with every hurt and confusion written on my heart and pour it out to Him. (Oh, Him and I–we’ve had words.) I do not know why He asks some to walk through this type of pain and these types of moments and not others. It’s maddening and almost unbearable to be surrounded by those who seem to have exactly what you want–what you’ve waited, hoped, and have been believing God for.
I have friends who don’t know what to do with me or to make of me when I have these moments. It’s not their fault. They’ve never had to walk through it. I pray to God they never do. But to those that have, and those that do, and those that will…there is a strength that is built no other way but by going through.
Who knows? Maybe for no other reason than that is why the seemingly unbearable must be bared. I firmly believe that we each have a personal individualized plan for our lives that doesn’t look like anyone else’s, and only God knows the type of strength that is needed to be built to carry out that plan. So in those moments of envy and jealousy that unintentionally spring up when we see others being spared or not being asked to walk through the same thing we are, we have no idea what they are going through or what they are dealing with in their own journeys. We’re all on a journey.
The “why me?” or “why this?” questions that can’t be helped may not ever be answered. Maybe they will, but chances are it won’t be until much, much farther down the road. When those dreaded moments catch us, confront us, and cannot be avoided no matter how hard we try–that is when it is time to take a breath, ask for that specific grace to keep going, and then to keep going. There’s no shame in falling apart. Sometimes it’s needed. When we do there is a Master Builder who can put us back together even stronger, tougher, better than we were before. We are stronger than we will ever know.
And when we meet or come across or see someone else who is going through their own uncomfortable and indescribable tough moments, we will know how to respond. We will know how to understand. We will know how to stand with or sit next to them without squirming. Because we’ve been there. And we made it. We can be living proof. It’s not easy to be somebody else’s living proof that they will make it, that they can make it…but it’s worth it.
Be living proof.